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April 18th, 2011 
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Dealing with the Stress of Planning a Wedding…
It’s been pretty hectic lately. I’ve been drowning in school work, work-work, dog-work and wedding-work for about two months now and I can hardly keep my head above water. One problem after another has risen, our dogs create a dust bowl inside of our living room daily and feel the need to brawl or bark incessantly whenever I am working on my homework. Neither the caterer nor the photographer has contacted us to go the next step in the wedding process; we’ve even had problems with the church.
Though Adrian does make the process worthwhile, having a destination wedding is a lot harder than I ever would have imagined. What makes things even more difficult is that most of the vendors we are dealing with are also family friends and our only form of communication with them is through e-mail. The only way I felt I could get out of this slump is through organization. In organizing, I found peace in gaining a little bit of control in my own wedding! I realized that I was taking on a little too much when it came to the wedding so I asked Adrian to help me a little more with the details since I was handling all of the e-mails and the church dilemma as well. I never realized that I hadn’t turned to him for help and even though I would include him in all of the e-mails, we weren’t even on the same book, let alone on the same page. I didn’t know how much he wanted to help until I asked, and I’m glad I did. I tend to make myself sick during stressful situations and raise my voice quite a bit. Adrian makes me realize that everything is not as big as I make it and though I may get upset at him at times deep down I know he’s right.
We met with our priest locally who advised us that the Arizona bishop is quite stern and we would have a heck of a time trying to get married in Phoenix. Having already spoken to four different Catholic parishes over there, we knew exactly what he meant. That’s why we visited our local priest, in hopes of convincing him to take a trip to Phoenix. Apparently, that’s a lot harder than getting married in a diocese that you are not a part of. We set a date for March of next year with our local church just in case, but hope that, through some miracle, we will be able to have both a civil and church wedding in Phoenix before then.
During our meeting, Adrian surprised me by telling the priest he wanted to convert even if it wasn’t necessary. Adrian’s never been religious and his family left the Catholic Church shortly after he was baptized, so this took me by surprise. I thought he would be happy to know he didn’t have to convert and I could still have the church wedding I wanted. It’s the little things that Adrian does that make me realize what a great person he is and how all of my dreams truly have come true.
Throughout the wedding planning process, I’ve learned to compromise a little more on the vision for the wedding. As each day passes and we don’t get a response from a vendor, I compromise my vision a little more. This may sound sad to a lot of people, but I figure as long as we have a venue and get married, that’s all I need. I shouldn’t ask for anything more, nor should I want anything more, because everything that needs to be there, will be there. It’s okay if we don’t have the right flowers or have the perfect centerpieces, a signature drink or the right amount of little touches because even though it may be those little deals that people remember, all Adrian and I will remember is what emotions were stirring, hopefully how much fun we had, and how radiant we both look. The only thing I won’t budge on is my makeup, hair, and dress. If that goes haywire then I’d start to bawl like a baby. I’ve already had nightmares where I had to wear a yellow used dress, no one could manage my hair and I didn’t have time to do my makeup so this is very important to me.
Follow up with me later when I tell you all about my adventures in creating and sending our save-the-dates. I’ve included some tips from what I’ve learned so far…
Wedding Planning Tips
- BOOK YOUR CHURCH BEFORE THE VENUE!!! If a church wedding is absolutely essential to you, learn the requirements that you need, especially if it’s a destination wedding. If all else fails, a Chaplain will accommodate any religion, however, the wedding will still only be considered a civil ceremony.
- Don’t stress out! Realize that a wedding is a union between you and the love of your life and that won’t change if the wrong flowers were ordered, the wrong invitations were picked or your bridesmaid dresses don’t match. Organization has helped me de-stress but I am also considering some form of exercise since it served as a de-stressor before….way, way before.
- Pick a vendor that is good for you. Though you may absolutely love a vendor, consider their communication skills when booking them. They may be amazing at what they do, but you may not be able to talk to them until your wedding day when what you see is what you get. Also, be wary when hiring a family friend or a family member because it becomes difficult to tell them what you want to change and your relationship with them could grow sour when you are not able to communicate with them.
- Ask for help. Don’t think that you need to take everything on yourself; there is always someone who is willing to help. As in my case, don’t assume people can read your mind; you need to ask for help whenever you need it and not get upset if the other person hasn’t noticed that you need help before you had to ask.
Hopefully, these tips will help make things easier when planning your wedding. Thanks for reading…until next time!
-Adriana
Image: m_bartosch / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
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